Ephesians Poem

The storms will never quit
On this desolate earthen bit
Here where the devil roams
Stirrin sand, fire n dust
But I know,
–Even within earth’s moans
That he will only come to rust
For the One in whom I trust
Can stop every burn and gust
And not only this!
He also truly is
The Lord of lords and King of kings!

And the God who always brings
Every promise and word to pass
Sent him to become my pass
Into heaven, into home
Into family and eternity
So we no longer roam
Nor live with cursed enmity
Instead we rejoice in His grace
While our hearts learn our new place
Beside the risen Christ
Above evil in Christ
As brothers and sisters in one accord
Sons and daughters under one Lord
And God’s treasure forevermore.

My Past Few Weeks

Oh Em Gee homework!
Why the turd now, depression!
Slightly dehydrated=constipation!
I completely missed you, homework!
Cyber Monday=fun with credit cards!
Have to find you, sanity!
Christmas bonus=loans’ interest.
Depression subsiding!
Recollection of missed assignments
Despair emerging
Desperate typing consumes weekends
Weekdays spent walking in cold
Scrubbing toilets and tubs
Missing Sugar Gliders,
Nieces and nephews
Caught up!
But still have looming tests
Late Christmas gifts
An unspoken “thank you”
And inferred “I love you”
On the tip of my tongue
Old friends diminish
Into the ice that is layered
Upon roads around the house
That I moved into yesterday

Turd

Life is a turd.

I’ve been cursing a bird
Wishing I couldn’t be deterred
From flying above the herd
And avoid anything inferred
From the bustle that was blurred
Where there is no Shepherd
At least, He was never heard

My heart could not be stirred
Even if I was spurred
Or the worst occurred
I wouldn’t hear a word
Because life is just a turd
And everything is absurd

~Katie Z

P.S. This is what happens when I decide to replace all curse words in my vocabulary with “turd.” I find myself writing poetry based on that one word.

Why We Breathe

Our brain stems tell us to
With a tick tock rhythm
Only interrupted by shock
Or maybe the salt of tears
Dried on his cheeks
As he disappears six feet under
The green earth with shovels
Of dirt being poured over
His final resting place

His cerebellum stopped
Tick, step, miss, there was no tock
The cold winter air pierced
My lungs with icicles
As the air in my cupped hands
Turned to a fog that seeped
Through the cracks of my fingers
And stretched thin in the atmosphere
Surrounding the graveyard

White roses and daisies
At the foot of his marker
Made of stone and stained
With the shadow of a pine
Distracted my heavy eyes
Laden with smeared mascara
The white petals stole
The attention of my hope
But as I stood, with the heel
Of my boot within the fresh
Dirt of his grave, I read
Upon his stone the words we knew,
“Only one in six billion, he breathed
Every breath for the few he loved
And for the few who loved him.”

Butterflies

Push and pull of waves
Wind howling in caves
Red and orange from the tree
Will you let me be?
Wish just for closed eyes
Upon stars that speak goodbyes
But I am only awake
Thinking of all he’d take
Alive with a buzzing alarm
Those that never harm
Insects incited this disease
I could never even say please
“Sorry” being repeatedly erased
Here I will not be abased
But the fear is never-ending
Because love is always bending
Mending the path to that star
Through trees, across plains afar
Above the canopy I glimpsed a light
But could it simply be all right?
A thought and a word to carry
Worry and faults to bury
Light rose and fell, seeking 50/50
(I just thought “that’s nifty!”)
Over the horizon, I saw an ellipse
Something of a blood moon eclipse
Speaking only what I believed
And as I exhaled, relieved,
He took my hand and led me
To where I always hoped to be

I’ve Been Sick

Broken again
A piece of the vine
A tree that couldn’t stand
No one would hug it
No one stood for it
The weight crushed it
I could no longer breathe its oxygen
It was only suffocating and debilitating
I wished it would find its roots again
But it could only rot away
It did not wish to be among us anymore
Among the sorrow, the hate
The noise and pollution
The “love” driven by selfishness

It has been a little over a week since I felt the first wave of this growing sickness. For the past few days, I’ve just been laying in bed and writing way less than I would like to. So, that is all I have for now. I hope to be more consistently writing and blogging nonsense again here soon, but first: Recovery.

I love all you crazy people who come read my crazy blog. Makes me feel loved 🙂

When the World…

Has forgotten you
Has turned you upside down
Has spat you out and spit on you
Has abused and used you
bated and switched you
hated and cursed you
Maimed you in the attempt to tame you
Given you rocks in place of food
And salt in place of water
When they have forsaken you
When they’ve crushed your hands
Your voice no longer sings
They stole your voice
And sang curses in place of your beauty
Your metamorphosis feels incomplete
You ask…
Was God really there?
Is He even here?
Does He even care?

Know that I am always alone
A perfect picture of a well known meme
Yet I sense Him still
Know that I have been maimed
I was tame for a time
Know that I have been cursed
I cursed those around me
Yet now He stills my heart

All I know now is love
If you cannot believe in my God above,
At least believe this

I love you, and I always will
The love I love you with is from God alone
For without His love in me
I am as cruel as they come
Cynical until my previous life’s final breath
Broken and rusted and black with sin
Until I drowned in His red blood
I asked for Him to take all of me and do with me as He willed
And In the midst of giving my life to Him
I found my strength diminish
My human soul failed
My heart ceased to feel
I was in a ditch
I was alone with only a Bible and my emptiness
I only wanted to curl up and die
In this moment He gave me hope
He filled my heart with His love
Rebuilt me from scratch
Gathered the broken pieces
glued them together with His own words
All that remains is His love
I would have it no other way

So, if you cannot believe in my God
At least know this
I love you
I love you with His love and thanks to Him